notafeeling:

patton: call yourself a failure one more time and he’ll pull the trigger 🔫🐸

virgil: do it you bug eyed bastard

patton: 💕💕💕🔫🐸 JOKES ON YOU HIS GUN IS FILLED WITH MY NEVERENDING LOVE, AFFECTION AND SUPPORT SO TAKE THAT STRAIGHT TO THE HEART 💕💕💕💕🔫🐸

virgil: F U C K

logan, in tears: how did patton say that with his mOUTH-

5am-the-foxing-hour:

Roman: Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?

Thomas: Oh god, we’re going to die, aren’t we?

Roman: It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.

Logan and Virgil *on the com*: You absolutely do not.

–

Thomas: Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda!

Emile: It’s not on anyone’s.

Sham [Deceit]: No it’s on mine, but not until next Thursday.

Thomas and Emile: *disappointed look*

–

Remy: No gurl, I am not buying a knife for your birthday.

Roman: But it’s pretty~

Remy *resolve slowly dissolving*: No!

–

Patton *running on 3 hours of sleep*: If I’m dying… Let me eat cake.

Virgil *having been awake for 32 hours*: You’re not dying…

Patton: Let me eat cake anyway..

–

Roman *in disguise*: Sitting around waiting to be kidnapped. This is the best day ever.

*later*

Roman *still in disguise*: This is the third time this WEEK I’ve been kidnapped, it’s getting old.

–

Emile *sitting next to Logan’s hospital bed*: How are you feeling?

Logan: Well… my eyebrows don’t hurt…

–

Roman: We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?

Virgil *on the com*: Actually, it’s more like eight..

Roman: Oh! Sorry i wasn’t specific enough!

–

Thomas: What’s our exit strategy?

Roman: Or what?

Patton: Oh my god, we’re all going to die!

–

Patton: Why are you looking upwards, kiddo?

Virgil: My eye shadow’s to expensive to ruin it by crying, but just know that I am feeling a lot of things on the inside.

–

Virgil *assigned his first mission after acing the field exam*: Can- Can someone explain to me, in small words, why I’m being assigned to this mission?

–

Sham [About Logan and Roman]: I can’t believe you two haven’t killed each other yet.

Logan: We shared a room together in high school. If we could survive that. we could survive anything.

Roman: True.

Sham: *bewildered stare*

–

Thomas: Sham, we need-

Sham: I’ve already done my part. If you need anything ask anyone BUT me.

–

Logan: Is this a normal Monday for you?

Sham: No the assassins usually try to kill me on Tuesday.

Logan: Is that sarcasm-

Sham: Yes idiot! Now get in the van before they see you!

your-fav-emo:

Logan listening to Roman curse and rant at him

oofalicous:

Merry early bitchmas y’all

erlenmeyertrashofsandersides:

roman, trying to flirt: Have you ever fallen in love?

virgil, with dead eyes and a monotone voice: I can’t even fall asleep.

sides-of-quotes:

Roman: So, Mister Logic “I have no emotions” Sanders, it must be a dreary existence; unable to love, to eat, to sleep, to laugh…. I feel sorry for you.

Logan: I can laugh. I have a sense of humor, you know.

Roman: Really? I’ve never heard you laugh before!

Logan: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.